Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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