i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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