You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
