if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
