I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
