What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
