A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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