actually, I'm a sock model
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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