i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
