There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's never too late to be topless.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
