I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
