didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
