why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
