party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
