forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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