you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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