your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
