thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
