I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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