i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize