ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
