I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
