Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
