I'm lost and stupid without you.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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