I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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