Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
