Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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