she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
