once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize