he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize