well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We got so high we made milksteak
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
