i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
