Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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