i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
