let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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