Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
