You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
