You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
