I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize