I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
