help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize