i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize