she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
