Just fell off a train. Bad.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
