Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
