ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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