I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
