Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
