I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I've blown a few things in my day
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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