i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
someone owes me an orgasm
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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