I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
