Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
