My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
