Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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