i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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