I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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