but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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