Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
