bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
