I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
