i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
