So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
