no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize