so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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