Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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