I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
