i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
