pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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