i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
