Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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