I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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