I must be too annoying 4 u.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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