Pappa wants mamma naked
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
