Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I pour the whiskey from now on
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
