Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize