The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize