Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
