Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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